“I wanted to understand her predicament because I was her son and I loved her with a helpless corroded love.”
This quote from ‘Em and the Big Hoom’ defines the gist of it. It is about a family of four where the mother, Imelda or Em, is mentally ill. Like any other illness, it requires constant care from the family but unlike other illness, it is very unpredictable. The Father, Augustine or The Big Hoom, and the kids are always in a state of caution, always looking for signs which can predict and prevent disaster, in this case, Em’s suicide.
But it isn’t easy. The story is narrated by the son and shows his continuous state of conflict, between responsibility towards his mother and living a selfish but carefree life. He considers himself responsible and tries to find the reason for this malfunction in his mother’s head. In Em’s stories, letters, and diary entries, he tries to find clues as to what had triggered the depression that now shadows all their lives.
In shifting timelines between past and present, we get to know Em who had to start providing for her family at a young age of 16. About her courtship with Augustine, about her actions which were bold for a woman of that time. In present, we get to know about this family which is happy, even after all that is wrong in their life. The moments they share are bittersweet. A wrong word can trigger memories and reactions that can lead to weeks in a hospital. Their fears and their reservations, but their will to make every moment count.
“She was in ward 33 again, lying in bed, a bed with a dark green sheet and a view of the outside. We could both see a man and woman getting out of a taxi. They were young and stood for a while, as if hesitating, in front of the hospital. Then the man took the woman’s hand and they walked into the hospital and we lost them.
‘That’s why Indian women fall ill,’ Em said. ‘So that their husbands will hold their hands.”
This is a very emotional read. Not because it’s sad. But because the author has expressed the deepest of human insecurities and reactions very subtly. The family dynamics in face of trouble is real and relatable. The innermost thoughts that cross one’s mind and which look shameful the moment after, are laid bare. The story is scary and agitating, but is an important reminder to stick with family when it matters the most.
I also found it very practical. Augustine’s role as the pillar of the family is what resonates with every middle-class Indian child. He is the one who thinks about expenses and savings, and tries to keep his kids secured but prepared for the worst. The matter of money is no small thing. Whether it is about the girl’s income after she is married or about keeping an emergency fund or about maintaining a budget, Jerry Pinto’s critical eyes have missed nothing.
“Love is never enough. Madness is enough. It is complete, sufficient unto itself. You can only stand outside it as a woman might stand outside a prison in which her lover is locked up. From time to time, a well-loved face will peer out and love floods back. A scrap of cloth flutters and it becomes a sign and a code and a message and all that you want it to be. Then it vanishes and you are outside the dark tower again.”
To say in minimum words, I loved the book. The characters are real and relatable. And one needs to know how and why it is important to not abandon a person with mental illness. It is not to be scorned or be scared of, but is to be treated like any other illness. And family is the only pillar one can expect to lean on in such cases.
A highly recommended read.
Book: Em and The Big Hoom Author: Jerry Pinto Publisher: Aleph Book Co Publication: Feb 2013 No. of pages: 255 My rating: 4/5
The Reading Owl 